i can’t think of the worst regift i’ve ever received.  maybe because i don’t ever really get presents.  what’s worse – a Regift or No Gift?

sliding in a comic before 2012.  it’s been 7 months??   i’m hoping i can start posting really bad comics on the regular in the new year

wow, it’s pretty hard drawing people making out in MS paint.

so my dad crashed my computer.  and you know what happens when you don’t back up your data for 10 years?  you get fucked up the asshole bigtime.  i lost all my comics (yes, that’s an easy “oh no big loss there” rip).

ohhh noooo has it really been almost 2 months since i last posted a bad comic?  shit.  i’ll blame it on my dad killing the computer with all my comics and graphics software.  and just in case you still didn’t think i was a loser, that last sentence should definitely have changed your mind.  unless your god. because god loves everyone.  thanks for having my back g.

i don’t know why people show up to work when they are absolutely useless and disgusting.  oh right, because they think they’ll get fired if they don’t.  well, you should get fired for showing up useless and disgusting!  um, i showed up last week absolutely useless and disgusting.  because i was hoping to get fired.  too bad it didn’t work.  okay i’m lying, i suck.

aw, i miss my grandma.  it was always a guaranteed 20 bucks on birthdays and candy from her magic bottomless candy purse.

shmappy new years everyone!

and i’ll stop with the fat jokes now. well kinda.  it’s all coincidential really, due to the series of events that have taken place. also, i want to have a nice ponch one day and i want to marry someone that has one too so eff off.

no boxing day shopping for me.  it’s just too crazy.  i can’t even handle the mall on a regular day. 

i should patent that multi-purpose broom.

who came up with that song anyways?  i hated that one.  i don’t know any kid that actually liked that song.  nobody ever proactively chose to sing that one during the holidays.  because it was just so inappropriate.  first, kissing was just gross altogether, but your mom kissing santa, let alone your dad, was plain disgusting.  santa, your job is to give me the goddamn presents and then GET THE FUCK OUT.

i’m sure we’ve all wanted to yell like that at some point.

and man was that comic just as irritating to read.   i was cringing the whole time.

“whatever” and “like” have been voted as the most annoying words.  i realized i say “like” a lot when i moved to the UK because they pretty much told me i sound like an idiot.  and then when i’d hear other canadians or amercians on the bus, i’d think “my god they sound so dumb i hope i don’t sound like that!!”  now that i’m back, i feel like i’ve started saying “like” a lot again.  you probably say it a lot too.  i think people in general say it a lot.  next time listen to yourself and catch it.  and then you’ll wonder how people can take you seriously (hint: they don’t!)

so this happened to my friend at their laser tag team building event at work.  he harmlessly chased the workplace chubbster and it could have possibly resulted in the ensuing abrupt stop to the event because of the heart condition acting up.  my friend was feeling the mixed emotions of “oh shit, i hope he doesn’t die and everything turns out okay” versus the “oh shit, people better not think this is my fault, how was i suppost to know he had a heart condition, he wouldn’t have had a heart condition if he took care of himself, you better not die motherfucker!!!”

well, my company doesn’t even do team morale events so i couldn’t even chase the chubby guy even if i wanted to.   once we do have a team event though, it’s ON.  i’m gonna chase him, tackle him, makeout with him, get married and live happily ever after!